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I’m never home

November 25th, 2007 · 2 Comments · Uncategorized

Sentimentality can be destructive. But I’m slowly learning how to make it work for me.

I’m a half-half – I have Arab blood and English blood. I have lived in London and Damascus, and I could never live without either of them. I consider them both as home.

When I’m in one, I miss the other like mad. But the two cities affect me in very different ways. Doing the LHR-DAM journey fills me with joy in the beginning, before London slowly works its way back into my thoughts.

Travelling in the opposite direction puts me into a trance which lasts weeks. I mourn my distant lover. I look forward to the night. Because in the night I sleep. And in my sleep I dream. And I can be sure that at least every two days Damascus will appear in my dream. It may not always be a good dream, it may even be mundane and dull. But at least it is a dream of Damascus.

After a few weeks, I start to live for London again.

It’s just about reached that time where I’m getting excited about being in London. I’ve got a ton of things I want to do here: a Yemeni film festival, a Yemeni architecture exhibition, watch the Yacoubian Building (yes, yes, I still haven’t seen it), see a screening about Algerian Jews, and go to the Arab Freedom Concert, get a pile of books from SOAS, and track down some Syrian DVDs.

You can often tell where I am by the nature of my posts.

When I’m in Damascus there are things I crave about London. SOAS, cinema, shopping, organisation.

In London I miss something more sensually fundamental about Damascus. Smells, sounds, tastes, views.

London is my friend, Damascus is my lover.

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2 responses so far ↓

  • 1 mtroni // Nov 26, 2007 at 12.32 pm

    Here’s a small vid to easy the pain :) I know exactly what u mean…

    DLink: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W45xUGCyHyM

  • 2 sasa // Nov 27, 2007 at 1.20 am

    Thanks Mtroni!

    Where was that…i was playing guess the restaurant. Haretna?

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